Forgive Yourself
Dr. Chris Germer Helps us Release Parenting Shame
Hello friends,
The other day, I was on social media, and I saw this parenting post from the Institute of Child Psychology (please note my comment on the bottom of the post):
Of course yelling is not an optimal parenting (or teaching) strategy, and we don’t want to repeatedly berate our children and become an internalized inner critic. But if we pressure ourselves to be a perfect parent (or teacher), we won’t help our kids learn that it’s human to make mistakes. We all sometimes lose it as parents, and when we do, it’s an opportunity to forgive ourselves. We can acknowledge our mistakes and our humanity, and begin again.
Beating ourselves up when we fall short as caregivers is just as unhelpful as berating our children when they make mistakes. It’s not loving, and it’s not helpful. The alternative? Self-compassion.
Self-compassion is the antidote to shame, and today I am joyful to share a cherished interview with Dr. Christopher Germer. I originally recorded this interview for my Compassionate Parenting course, but I’m sharing it with you now as my last podcast episode of the season.
Our interview includes a heart warming and insightful conversation along with a couple of short guided practices. It is so worth your time. Please listen to it.
And remember, no matter how imperfect you are, you can love yourself right now. Loving yourself amidst your imperfections will help you to own your mistakes, and it will also help you love your imperfect child. My own journey of self-acceptance has opened the doorway to truly accepting and loving my partner and my children as imperfect beings. And the more our family lovingly embraces each other amidst our imperfections, the more we have a sense of belonging in our family.
I must be honest, forgiving ourselves can be easier said than done. It took large doses of Mindful Self-Compassion training and years of practice to shift my habit of beating myself up, but the journey is so worth it! And self-compassion always meets us just where we are (see upcoming courses here).
So, please, forgive yourself for being imperfect, and begin (or continue) the journey of loving yourself. Remember to listen to my podcast episode with Chris Germer on your favorite podcast app. Just like self-love, it’s freely given to you.
Wishing you light and love,
Jamie Lynn
Releasing Parenting Shame with Dr. Chris Germer
Do you struggle with forgiving yourself when you mess up as a parent? Do you hold yourself to unrealistic standards that you can never reach? Do you worry that you are going to unwittingly shame your child and damage them?
Beautiful reminder :)
Hi Alexia, It's the same video! Just that one's on Substack and one is on Youtube. You will recognize the interview from our Compassionate Presence training. It's my favorite!